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Today, I am bringing you the realities that happen when you go from one baby to two. I won't say it is necessarily the hardest transition in the world, but it also definitely isn't easy. Ultimately, the biggest change I have faced is having down time. Really, I am lucky to have all of our family right here, and as my mom doesn't work, I have been able to call on her help and assistance nearly every day. I really am spoiled in that aspect. Last weekend, though, Mike had his brother's bachelor party, so I was alone with two kids for essentially the entire day, and let me tell you, even if that man had actually planned on sticking around for the party bus, by 8pm I was about ready to call him in tears and say COME HOME NOW. I didn't, and really felt kind of proud at the end of the day because, well, I survived, but OY. Not my easiest day.
For the sake of memory, I have put together what I am considering the biggest changes when you go from one to two children.
1. You have to learn to say no. This is both a blessing and a curse, but there have already been countless times where I have both children need me, and I have had to decide who needs me more. This definitely results in some guilt, and some pretty overwhelming moments. Quite often, I go with the thought process that my toddler will feel the emotional toll of being forced to wait or not feeling he is getting what he is needing, whereas the baby most likely just wants to eat and can wait a few minutes. It can be tempting to cater to the baby's needs above all, but I do my best to make sure I give them both the attention they need. Still, sometimes your first baby will be crawling at your leg to be held while the second baby is nursing, and that can just be rough.
2. You have no time to yourself. I remember thinking time management was hard when I just had one newborn, and if I could go back in time I would laugh in old me's face. Newborns eat and sleep and poop. During that sleep time, it really isn't much to bring them to run errands with you, or sneak out on a coffee run, or get things done around the house. With two, though? When baby naps, your big kid wants to play. At dinner time while you are trying your best to serve up microwaved chicken nuggets, your newborn will start screaming bloody murder and want to eat NOW. I have managed to shower regularly, only because I bring the baby in the bathroom with me and let him hang in his carseat while I take a quick five minute shower. Really though, those leisurely afternoons of watching hours of Netflix with a newborn sleeping on your chest are long gone!
3. Eating is hard. Cooking in general is nearly impossible in these early weeks, but so is the act of eating. I mean, you are putting the needs of two little people above your own, so it only makes sense that you eat your meals cold, or on the couch with one hand while simultaneously feeding a newborn with the other.
4. Your older child will stress you out. We really have been lucky and Jackson lights up every time he sees Lincoln, but he also has NO concept of how to be gentle, or when it is or is not okay to touch the baby. For example, while I am nursing tends to be prime time for diving in for baby kisses, as is the times when Lincoln is in his swing. And, a 21 month old just doesn't understand that he can't lean forward and put his entire body weight on a fragile little guy like his brother. All making for high stress, high alert mama at all times. I don't want to wish away this precious time, but I will say I am looking forward to the day where Lincoln is a bit more..tough.
5. The love between siblings really will melt your heart. Every day, the absolute very first thing Jackson does is look for his brother. He gives him dozens of kisses during the day, loves to pat his head, and snuggles up in my lap (adorable and also incredibly challenging) when I am holding his brother for double the cuddles. I am so excited for Lincoln to start recognizing who Jackson is, and I can already tell that watching them grow together is going to be incredible.
Yes, this sounds about right! After a year, when Reid started sleeping through the night I started waking up before the boys for my alone time. It helps so much! It's tough but it's just a phase and will get better, just remember that during the tough times!
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to eat when your children are so young and you are in the midst of new babies. Sometimes I went almost all day without eating. It was rough, but it gets easier.
ReplyDeleteThis post is fantastic - thank you for being so honest about everything. I am truly terrified of life with two. I worry about how I'll divide my time between them, how I'll be able to manage without much rest, etc. We had it easy with one. When Mila slept, we slept - or we at least got to relax (like you said, watching Netflix while lounging on the couch). Mila doesn't nap anymore, so I'm sure it's going to be go, go, go. But it's nice to hear, that even though it's hard, you're surviving! I love being able to follow along with blogs like yours to see how other moms do it, so I can be somewhat prepared!
ReplyDeleteAww love hearing about the sweetness between brothers!
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