Toddler Bedtime Routine

*This post is written in collaboration with Leesa. I was provided the mattress in exchange for my review, which is honest and reflects our experience. Thank you as always for supporting the brands that support Stang&Co!


In parenting, I learned hard and fast that no two children are the same. The minute we brought home our second child, it was clear that while they were both boys, that was about the only thing they had in common. Their personalities are complete opposites of one another, so I suppose I should not be surprised that their sleep habits are completely different, too. Jackson is my snuggler. For the longest time he couldn't fall asleep if he wasn't twirling mine or my husband's hair in his tiny fingers, and he needed the physical touch of another person to fall asleep. We had to lay with him in his bed for the longest time, and it was not an easy habit to break. At all.

Lincoln was a different story entirely. He was a terrible sleeper early on; around 6-7 months he was still waking three to four times per night, and on the brink of insanity, we determined that we would make him cry it out and we would not crack because something had to change. Fortunately for us, it really only took one hour of crying on the first night, and two to three days of crying for ten minutes or so at naptime and he was sleeping twelve hours straight. And a year later, that is still how he rolls. He loves to be laid down awake, and is all about self soothing. He falls asleep on his own, and really only wakes up at night if something is wrong. Meanwhile, his older brother still wakes during the night and at least half of the time climbs into our bed at some point.

 

We decided that maybe it was time to start transitioning Lincoln from his crib to a big boy bed. He loves his independence and we thought it might be time. We went ahead and got him a new Leesa mattress, and couldn't wait to make the transition. But immediately we felt ourselves slammed with reservations. The boys' bedrooms are upstairs, and we have a two story staircase with no turns or breaks, meaning if he should stumble and fall, he has a long way down. We know there are methods to prevent this, like a baby gate on the door, but we really reflected a bit on how he currently sleeps, and figured, 'if it isn't broken, why fix it?' He sleeps so wonderful, is easy to put down, and who knows how the big boy bed transition will affect that. Basically, we got cold feet on making the switch.

We didn't need to worry about the new mattress though. The second we opened the box (because yes, Leesa delivers their foam mattresses right to your front door in a neat and tidy box), Jackson claimed it as his own. He has been sleeping on a very generic mattress we picked up at a home improvement store, I kid you not. It did the job, but that boy knew the second he laid down on a Leesa that it was the better option. It is so soft, plush, yet still provides support. We figured that if we are holding off on transitioning Lincoln, Jackson may as well use it instead. In all honesty, it may be a good thing we didn't let Lincoln use it; Jackson immediately noticed the white stripes on the mattress, perfect for being used as a 'race track', and there was no getting him to turn the mattress back over.

He still is a more difficult child when it comes to sleep, and we have been trying constant strategies lately to get him sleeping better. As he grows, he is becoming more fearful at night, but then he is also afraid of the sound machine and light we have in his room. So any tips and tricks are welcome when your child is afraid of the dark but also afraid of the nightlight ;-) One thing is for sure though; since moving him onto the Leesa mattress he LOVES to climb into bed and snuggle up on his bed with his new pillow. It is so obvious how much more comfortable and secure he feels on his new mattress. I cannot put into words how soft and inviting it is; I have found myself tempted to snuggle up along side him and sleep on it a time or two.

In addition to the new mattress making him more willing to get into (and stay!) in bed, we have a few other things we have done.

• Applying essential oils before bedtime can work wonders. We have a few oils we use, but lavender really seems to be the winner time and again. I notice a difference when the boys go to bed without oils on for sure.


• Sound machines. I think having background noise is key for children sleeping well and not being woken up by every little sound. Jackson's room is right above the garage and laundry room, so there are lots of little sounds that can pull him out of sleep, and sound machines help to cover those background noises!


• Limiting light. It always seems like common sense to have some light in the room to keep your children from being afraid of the dark, but light can actually wreak havoc on kids sleeping soundly through the night. It has required some talking and assuring there is nothing to be afraid of, but dark rooms tend to get us the best night's sleep.
• Spending time calming down before bedtime. Lincoln goes to bed about 45 minutes before Jackson, so I have really started to implement that once brother is asleep, the toys get put away and we have 'relaxing time'. Our kids never seem to do well when they are up and at 'em and are suddenly jolted and put to bed. Having half an hour or so to decompress and not be active seems to help both boys mentally prepare for sleep.

Lincoln may not have the mattress for himself, but he sure loves to play on it whenever he gets the chance ;-)

Leesa offers a 100 day trial period for their mattresses. You can also take $100 off of your own with code STANGANDCO. It is recommended to give thirty days to adjust to the mattress, and if at that point it is not everything you expected, they will coordinate a pick-up right from your house and will refund you. We truly love the mattress though, and will be keeping it for sure. And while Lincoln may not be quite ready for his big boy bed, he certainly loves playing on big brother's bed in the meantime, if the picture above doesn't give it away ;-)
What are some of your hacks for getting little ones to sleep? As a parent of young children, there is just NOTHING more precious than a good night of sleep for everyone.

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The Forgotten Way To 'Help' A New Mom Of Two

Sometimes, I look back on life 21 months ago and cannot believe how far we have come. I love the newborn stage. There is so much sweetness, so many cuddles, and it is a precious, albeit sleep deprived, time of life that is fleeting that is gone in a blink.

 

I exclusively breastfed both of our children until they were a year old. Once I returned to work we started incorporating bottles of pumped milk, but on both of my maternity leaves, I was essentially the sole caretaker of the baby, because, let's be honest, newborns eat, sleep, and get their diapers changed. I always laugh when I see those memes where the new mother is staring at her peacefully sleeping husband with rage in her eyes while she is up feeding the baby for the fourth time that night. I was there. Those middle of the night moments can be so sweet, but man are they exhausting, and when you breastfeed, you can't ask for help, even if you want to. Even if my husband took a turn and did a bottle feeding, I would have to wake up and pump anyway. I am getting tired just thinking about it.

We live in our hometown. Both sets of our parents are within five minutes of us. And they are both incredibly helpful and willing to step up with our kids whenever we need them. When I had our first baby, any time we had the offer of a babysitter, that meant some me time. I could go for a run, or get some errands in, or just enjoy a little bit of peace and quiet.

Things were very different when we had our second baby. To say he was a difficult baby would be an understatement. He cried constantly. He hated to be cuddled, but he also hated to be set down. We lived in a constant state of walking around with him in our arms, facing outwards, and bouncing. The second I tried to sit down on the couch, he would scream. I am being real here, the first five months of life with two were h.a.r.d.

I was so grateful for all of the help I received. But here is the thing. When I was offered help, the majority of the time, it was this:

"Let me take Jackson outside to play"

"Here, let me put Jackson down for a nap"

"Oh, we will watch Jackson if you want to run errands with just the baby!"

Now, this isn't word for word how it went down every single time, but it is pretty close to how it felt. I remember so often sitting inside with a screaming, fussy baby, while I watched my family play outside with my fun, precious 21 month old. I so often felt that everyone assumed that when I needed a break, it would be most helpful to take my toddler off of my hands. My silly, fun loving toddler who was easy and fun to read bedtime stories to, who loved to play in the sunshine and was learning new games and who I already felt so much guilt towards because my time was so focused on his little brother.

I don't say this to knock my family, because again, they are amazing. But more than once I felt as though when people offered to help, they took the easy option. Maybe that isn't even the right way to say it. They took the option that on the surface made the most sense. I get it. I would choose to take the silly two year old over the colicky two month old, too. Because a newborn needs their mama much more than the older sibling, right? But that wasn't what I needed. I loved my baby, but there were so many times where that was the break that I needed most.

I will never remember the one day of my maternity leave where my mom told me to take my oldest out on a little lunch date, and she kept the baby. I took my sweet boy to a local ice cream place, and we had hot dogs and potato chips while sitting outside at a picnic table. After we ate our food, he had his very first ice cream cone, and it was one of those sweet memories that I know I am going to remember forever. Sure, I had almost two years of time where my attention was solely dedicated to my big boy, but finding that one on one time with each of my children became so much more desperately important during those hard months where I felt so helpless sometimes.

So family and friends, if you are able to help out, take the baby. Trust me, if a mama doesn't want to share her baby, I promise she will find an excuse to not hand them over. But don't assume she doesn't want (or need) some time and space. Offer to babysit the child that is a bit scarier, a bit more fragile, so mom can enjoy those fun moments with her older, easier child. Mothers of young children appreciate every ounce of help that they can get, but take a moment and think of what that mama truly needs the most. If she has been up all night feeding the baby, chances are some quality time with that oldest child is exactly what she is looking for.

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Coffee Talk

Is anyone else in absolute disbelief that summer is drawing to a close? We are literally only one week away from pumpkin spice lattes, and I'll be honest, I'm not sad about it! So in the spirit of fall, grab your favorite spiced coffee, cozy up on the couch and pretending it feels like fall outside, and let's chat.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you...

 

I am feeling more lost with my career than I have in a long time. I mentioned last week that my boss resigned without notice, and ever since our department has kind of been in a frenzy and no one really knows what to do next. I am at a point of really weighing my options, but it is so overwhelming to ever consider doing something new.

 

In my dream world, I would work 2-3 days a week. Some days, I kick myself for not going into a career that works shifts so I could have this be more of an option. I so badly wish I had the desire to be a nurse, but I just know that isn't the right career for me. I hate not being with my kiddos more and being able to spend more time taking care of our house, and yet I know I would go crazy being home full time.

 

Every time the Powerball gets really high, Mike and I buy a ticket and then talk about what we would do with the money. And we legitimately end up in heated discussions. Over the lottery that we will never win.

 

I am relieved we are beyond party season. In a matter of four months, I threw birthday parties for both of my boys, a baby shower, a bridal shower, and have hosted family over to our house numerous times for dinners. While I love spending time with loved ones and planning these parties, I planned so many in such a short window and am more than ready for a breather.

 

Speaking of birthdays, September is both mine and Mike's birthdays, and then October is our anniversary. These occasions are all taken as an opportunity to go out to a restaurant and NOT cook ;-) I already have plans for childcare and dinner lined up for my birthday, and I already can't wait!

 

I am so off tracking with any sort of meal planning, and healthy eating has not been a priority at all lately, but I so desperately want to change that. Especially because the holidays will be here soon, and if I just continue how I have been going I know it is going to be bad news for me.

 

Since quitting breastfeeding, I put back on a few pounds, but also feel like my body is the most out of shape it has been in years. I am thinking we are finally at a point where if we got a new gym membership we might use it. I can't find a spot in our new house that would be good for a workout, but I NEED to do something!!

 

We are still in the process of potty training, and I feel like we are at an absolute stand still. He is in underwear all day, but still won't tell us he has to go (we have to ask), and he outright refuses to #2 on the potty. I am seriously about to lose my mind and am just so over it. I am even reaching the point where I sometimes get frustrated at him, which I know isn't fair. I am getting desperate, so am more than willing to hear people's tips and trips!

 

With that, I was just scrolling the channels and stumbled across Sweet Home Alabama, so it is time for me to sign off and watch Reese Witherspoon decide which hearththrob to marry ;-)

 

Happy Friday Eve!

 

Linking up with Annie today!

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